So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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