Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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