I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
