Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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