This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
