I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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