I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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