I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
