I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
