I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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