wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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