Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
