The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You need Xanax blowdarts
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
