hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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