I accidentally had phone sex last night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You are the jesus of drinking
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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