Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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