just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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