White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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