yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize