Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO