remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Randomize
