I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The beer is more important than you right now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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