No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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