I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
