she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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