i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
