I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize
