Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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