Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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