dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
