I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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