I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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