evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
