meet me or not, i'm out of control
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
