just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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