is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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