I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
