She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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