First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
