What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
