I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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