Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize