I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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