Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
false alarm. still invincible.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
you made out with another girl for some wings
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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