He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
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Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus