Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.