My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
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Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.