Christians are straight up FREAKS
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
