i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
