grandma shit on top of the toilet
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
