8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Bring me that man meat
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
false alarm, still single
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
