omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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