WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
pray to the hookup gods
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
