i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
