on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
