No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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