I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
